Ain’t: Don’t y’all hate it when Northerners hit you with that “Ain’t isn’t a real word” https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/ain’t#usage-1
Aspic: child torture for parents across the south (pronunciation guide: ass-Pick)
B
Beyoncé: Y’all northerners try to claim her, but she’s our’s. Back OFF
Biscuits: and graaaaaavy, breakfast of champs
BBQ: if it don’t make you feel sick, it ain’t real. Hint: grilling tofu in your backyard ain’t it
Bojangles: the Mcdonalds of the South, but better.
Black-Eyed Peas: No, not the band.
C
Crazy Grandma: You ain’t really southern if you don’t have a crazy, out there grandmother that may or may not have voted for Trump because of “Crooked Hillary”, just keep rolling your eyes and maybe she’ll stop
Country Music: “Country Music is about the stories of everyday Americans” Yeehaw cowboy!
Cholesterol: You want it, we got it
D
Diversity: we got that, we ain’t all white, contrary to popular belief
Dixie Chicks: hate ‘em, why? Because we like war apparently. *takes a break from burning albums in parking lots 10+ years later*
E
Evangelicals: Let’s not get started
F
French Accent: Have you heard a real southerner try to speak french? Now that’s funny. bon-JOUR Ge m’APPLE maDAME Flynn.
G
Grammar: we make our own rules #2 kool for skool #fightthepower
H
History: we can’t escape it, no matter how hard we try
Hazzard, Dukes of: Yeah, when your grandfather can watch all day and make you watch some of it, you know what’s up.
Humidity: you get so used to it that when you move up north, you kinda miss it
J
Judgmental: I would try to disprove this, but I probably can’t
Jesus: Challenge-let’s see how many things you can justify with this simple word
K
Kin: your people, you have it, but can also find it
L
Language: apparently we do that weird, so much so we have a Wikipedia page about it (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Southern_American_English) What even is a diphthong?
Low Country Boil: the pinnacle of human cuisine
M
Moonshine: If you see a clear liquid in a mason jar….
Moss, Spanish: Eerie and cool, yes. Pro-tip: don’t touch it. iykyk.
N
Nosy Church Women: Serving looks since the start of time. Practically Medusa.
O
Oil: (or boil) now that a fun sound southerners make. Oil. Hear it right?
Okra: Don’t you love the slimy feeling as it slides down your throat. Just a little?
P
Paula Deen: We don’t want her, you can take her. (see: Cholesterol and racism; now that’s a combination)
Pickup Trucks: “I drive your truck/I roll every window down and I burn up/Every back road in this town/I find a field, I tear it up/Till all the pain’s a cloud of dust/Yeah, sometimes I drive your truck” Very meta. (see “Country Music”)
Periodt: the proper pronunciation of period. Periodt.
R
Racism: have you watched the news? Cracked a book? It happens everywhere.
Rednecks: Aren’t we all?
Rodeos: a good time, don’t knock it it till you try it.
S
Sexual Relations: “I did not have sexual relations with that women” Hun, who are we kidding, sit down.
Steel Magnolias: I true testament to Human Art, quintessential to human existence. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen this movie five times with all your friends
Sweet Tea: There are two types of people: humans and people who don’t like real southern Iced Tea
T
Taylor Swift: in case you didn’t know she’s from like Connecticut or Minnesota or something like that
Tuscaloosa: What a fun name. Say that six times fast.
U
Un-American: apparently anybody that isn’t a straight white male, but we’re working on it
V
Virginia: When people say Virginia isn’t southern, it just mean they haven’t been there, we have more than enough rednecks to fill the quota + sweet tea, so sit down!
W
“When I was your age…..”: Abort, make all attempts escape
White Cracker Convention: i.e. every southern government est. 1776
X
What the hell starts with an x
Y
Y’all: a staple of southern dialect, “all y’all” is more advanced structure
Yankee: Y’all Northerners think that we go around calling all y’all Yankees. Yeah, nobody does that.
Yee Haw: nobody seriously says that
Z
Zoom: We gotta drive fast/reckless (see Dukes of Hazzard)
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